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This guest post by Brandon Andress highlights a life-changing truth.

When kindness confronts us through undeserved mercy, undeserved grace, or undeserved love, it can be transformative.        — By Brandon Andress

When I was in college and dating Jenny (who is now my wife), there was a Friday night in which we were planning to hang out. As the minutes and then the hours began to pass, I became increasingly impatient, frustrated, and angry that she was taking so long, not answering my phone calls, and ruining our Friday.

After several hours of waiting in my room with no response, there was finally a knock at my door. And as Jenny walked in, my anger was immediately evident. I was fuming mad and peppering her with a litany of questions.

Where have you been?

What have you been doing?

Why are you so late?

Why didn’t you answer my calls?

I wasn’t listening to anything she said. There wasn’t a response that would have satisfied my anger.

But then, instead of trying to answer my questions, she just handed me a card.

And it wasn’t just any card.

It was a card that she had meticulously and patiently and lovingly crafted for me over the three previous hours. It detailed, in overwhelming specificity, all the memorable moments we had shared as a couple and how much she loved me.

I got very silent.

Stick-my-foot-in-my-mouth silent.


A greeting card (not the original).

Let’s be honest. It would have been easier to withhold the card and break up with me right there on the spot. I did not come close to deserving the card. But Jenny gave it to me anyway, despite my anger and bewilderment, as an act of profound kindness and love.

My anger turned to regret.

It was her kindness, not her justified retaliation, that made me want to change—to be more patient, more kind, and more loving myself. It was her kindness, despite how I violated our relationship, that changed my heart.

When kindness confronts us through undeserved mercy, undeserved grace, or undeserved love, it can be transformative.

There is wisdom that states that the kindness of God transforms the heart. Not the guilt of God. Not the shame of God. Not the threats of God. It is the kindness of God that changes a person from the inside, creating vibrancy and life.


  1. With so much of life feeling like anger, hatred, and division, how might a person begin to experience the kindness of God?


Brandon Andress

Note: You can read more of Brandon’s thought provoking writing by visiting his blog Deep Calls to Deep.