Tag Archives: despair

Lots of Questions for God

06 Thursday Jun 2019

Posted by in Devotionals, Psalm 77, Psalms

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Reading: Psalm 77
For the director of music. For Jeduthun. Of Asaph. A psalm.
(Verses 1-9)
I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands,
and I would not be comforted.
I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart meditated and my spirit asked:
“Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?” (NIV).

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Forest trail in spring — photo by David Kitz

Reflection
Sometimes in our walk of faith, we go through dark days. Answers to our prayers do not come quickly. We are left wondering if God even hears or cares. The opening verses of Psalm 77 reflect the psalmist’s mood of desolation, which approaches despair. The psalmist has more questions than the Lord has answers. At least that’s how it appears. “Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”  

One Friday morning, I was on a pleasant spring walk through a quiet residential neighborhood with my sister. Suddenly without warning, I was struck by a car backing out of a driveway. In an instant, pleasure was replaced by searing pain. My right knee was skinned and bleeding. Ligaments in my left ankle were torn. Now I hobble about on crutches. Surgery may be needed.

Like the psalmist, my week after the accident was filled with questions. Questions by police officers. Questions by family members and friends. Questions by insurance claim specialists. Questions by doctors. And in my quiet moments, I have had a few questions for the Lord, “Why did you allow this to happen? What should my response be? How long will this pain last? When will I be able to walk normally again? Did I do something wrong to bring on this pain?”

Response: LORD God, I don’t have the answers. You do. Your word tells me to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Help me to do just that in these circumstances. You are always worthy of praise even when I don’t understand. Amen.

Your Turn: Do you have questions for God when life seems to go off the rails?

Have you stumbled into a dry well?

04 Friday Jan 2019

Posted by in Bible, Devotionals, Psalm 31, Psalms

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Reading: Psalm 31
(Verses 9-13)
Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.
My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors
and an object of dread to my closest friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
I am forgotten as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
For I hear many whispering,
“Terror on every side!”
They conspire against me
and plot to take my life (NIV).

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Snow covered tree in Grey Nuns Park — photo by David Kitz

Reflection
How often do you find yourself crying out for mercy as David does at the start of this psalm portion? I confess daily I need God’s mercy. Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. 

The desperate cry for help is a recurring theme throughout the psalms. While there is plenty of rejoicing and we find ample helpings of praise for the LORD throughout the Book of Psalms, we also find time after time David and the other writers of the psalms calling out to God for mercy. It is as though David has stumbled into a dry well and has no one to rescue him. Only God can help. Only God will listen.

Is that where you find yourself? In this psalm portion we can see that David is experiencing a deep sense of abandonment. He feels he is alone with none to help. He laments, “I am forgotten as though I were dead.” 

Is that where you find yourself? But David’s sense of abandonment plums even greater depths. Not only does David feel the sting of rejection, he also feels totally worthless. In his despair he cries, “I have become like broken pottery.” It appears as though he has lost all sense of meaning and purpose to his life. He is abandoned, useless and worthless.

Is that where you find yourself? Then do as David did. Pour out your complaint to God. Call out to Him. He is listening. He cares and He answers. The LORD has not changed.

Response: LORD God, have mercy on me. Come to my aid. When I stumble and fall into the dry well of despair, please come to my rescue. Help me see Jesus peering down at me. Loving Jesus, extend your hand of help. Amen.

Your Turn: Reflect on how God has helped you in the past. Has he pulled you out of a pit?

A Dark Psalm for Dark Times

22 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by in Bible, Devotionals, Psalm 88, Psalms

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Reading:                                      Psalm 88

(Verses 9-18)
I call to you, LORD, every day;
I spread out my hands to you.
Do you show your wonders to the dead?
Do their spirits rise up and praise you?
Is your love declared in the grave,
your faithfulness in Destruction?
Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?
But I cry to you for help, LORD;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
Why, LORD, do you reject me and hide your face from me?
From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me.
All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend (NIV).

Reflection
Psalm 88 is the darkest of all the psalms. Many of the psalms are bright and cheery, filled with joy and praise. If I were to assign a color to them, I would paint them bright yellow, dappled with hues of orange and red. On the other hand, Psalm 88 draws from a much darker palette of black, grey and brown. This psalm is colored by loss, rejection and sorrow.

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Attacking the ice dragon, Winterlude ice sculpture, Ottawa, Canada — photo by David Kitz

Many psalms spring from a place of grief, trouble and distress. This is only fitting since every life has such moments. Usually the psalmist pours out his troubles and his complaint before God, but he ends on a positive note—a note of hope. But Psalm 88 does not follow this pattern. It ends on a downer. You have taken from me friend and neighbor—darkness is my closest friend.

What are we to make of this ending? The sad reality is that not every book has a happy ending. Not every personal story has the Hollywood ending that we would like. Tragedy is real. Tragedy can strike anyone. We can live in a pretend world that says it isn’t so, but we are fooling only ourselves. This psalm adds a dark note of real-life integrity to the Book of Psalms.

But in the middle of it all—in the middle of his dark night of the soul—the psalmist takes his stand. But I cry to you for help, LORD; in the morning my prayer comes before you.

Sometimes we don’t have answers. Sometimes all we have is prayer.

Response: LORD God, when I am down, I cry to you for help. You are my hope when all hope is gone. Come to me in the dark times of my life. At such times I need you the most. Amen.

Your Turn: Are you going through a dark time? Do you find help in prayer?

Reaching to the Lowest Pit

21 Wednesday Feb 2018

Posted by in Bible, Devotionals, Psalm 88, Psalms

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Reading:                                       Psalm 88

A song. A psalm of the Sons of Korah. For the director of music.
According to mahalath leannoth. A maskil of Heman the Ezrahite.
LORD, you are the God who saves me;
day and night I cry out to you.
May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.
I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.
I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength.
I am set apart with the dead, like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more, who are cut off from your care.
You have put me in the lowest pit,
in the darkest depths.
Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape; my eyes are dim with grief (NIV).

Reflection
There are 150 psalms in the Book of Psalms and one of the most remarkable things about them is their emotional span. They range from giddy heights of joy and praise to great depths of depression and sorrow. The full array of human emotion and experience is on display. Whatever state you find yourself in, there’s a psalm for that—a psalm for every situation and human need. If you are in desperate straits, there’s a psalm for that. If you are soaring in the presence of God, there’s a psalm for that too. They reflect our need for God and our desire to connect with Him in all of life’s experiences.

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Ice sculptures at Winterlude, Ottawa, Canada — photo by David Kitz

Psalm 88 is a cry for help from the deepest pit of human need. Hear the psalmist’s cry of anguish: I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life draws near to death. I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am like one without strength. I am confined and cannot escape; my eyes are dim with grief.

For reasons that we are not told, the psalmist feels trapped in the worst of circumstances. At times I think we all have been there—feeling alone with no one to turn to. In such times, there is no one to turn to but the LORD. In our time of despair He does not reject us or turn us away. He is a God who comforts us, even as Paul, the apostle declares, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

If you are in the depths of depression or despair follow the example of Heman, the psalmist. Call out to God. He is listening. He reaches to the lowest pit. 

Response: LORD God, I need your comfort. Hear my prayer and answer me. In this time of sorrow show me a sign of your love and favor. Amen.

Your Turn: Are you currently facing a time of trouble or sorrow? Are others praying for you?

Questions for God

11 Thursday Jan 2018

Posted by in Bible, Devotionals, Psalm 76, Psalms

≈ 10 Comments

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Reading:                                       Psalm 77

For the director of music. For Jeduthun. Of Asaph. A psalm.
(Verses 1-9)
I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands,
and I would not be comforted.
I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart meditated and my spirit asked:
“Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?” (NIV).

Reflection|
Sometimes in our walk of faith, we go through dark days. Answers to our prayers do not come quickly. We are left wondering if God even hears or cares. The opening verses of Psalm 77 reflect the psalmist’s mood of desolation, which approaches despair. The psalmist has more questions than the Lord has answers. At least that’s how it appears. “Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”  

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The National Art Gallery of Canada — photo by David Kitz

Last Friday morning, I was on a pleasant spring walk through a quiet residential neighborhood with my sister. Suddenly without warning, I was struck by a car backing out of a driveway. In an instant, pleasure was replaced by searing pain. My right knee was skinned and bleeding. Ligaments in my left ankle were torn. Now I hobble about on crutches. Surgery may be needed.

Like the psalmist, my week since the accident has been filled with questions. Questions by police officers. Questions by family members and friends. Questions by insurance claim specialists. Questions by doctors. And in my quiet moments, I have had a few questions for the Lord, “Why did you allow this to happen? What should my response be? How long will this pain last? When will I be able to walk normally again? Did I do something wrong to bring on this pain?”

Response: LORD God, I don’t have the answers. You do. Your word tells me to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Help me to do just that in these circumstances. You are always worthy of praise even when I don’t understand. Amen.

Your Turn: Do you have questions for God when life seems to go off the rails?

Note: This post was written over a year ago. I have fully recovered from the accident though the process was slow and painful. In it all God was with me.

Stuck in a Dry Well

09 Wednesday Aug 2017

Posted by in Bible, Devotionals, Psalm 31, Psalms

≈ 5 Comments

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Reading:                                     Psalm 31

(Verses 9-13)

Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.
My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors
and an object of dread to my closest friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
I am forgotten as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
For I hear many whispering,
“Terror on every side!”
They conspire against me
and plot to take my life (NIV).

Reflection
How often do you find yourself crying out for mercy as David does at the start of this psalm portion? I confess daily I need God’s mercy. Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.

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Are you in narrow place or a wide open space? — photo by David KItz

The desperate cry for help is a recurring theme throughout the psalms. While there is plenty of rejoicing and we find ample helpings of praise for the LORD throughout the Book of Psalms, we also find time after time David and the other writers of the psalms calling out to God for mercy. It is as though David has stumbled into a dry well and has no one to rescue him. Only God can help. Only God will listen.

Is that where you find yourself? In this psalm portion we can see that David is experiencing a deep sense of abandonment. He feels he is alone with none to help. He laments, “I am forgotten as though I were dead.”

Is that where you find yourself? But David’s sense of abandonment plums even greater depths. Not only does David feel the sting of rejection, he also feels totally worthless. In his despair he cries, “I have become like broken pottery.” It appears as though he has lost all sense of meaning and purpose to his life. He is abandoned, useless and worthless.

Is that where you find yourself? Then do as David did. Pour out your complaint to God. Call out to Him. He is listening. He cares and He answers. The LORD has not changed.

Response: LORD God, have mercy on me. Come to my aid. When I stumble and fall into the dry well of despair, please come to my rescue. Help me see Jesus peering down at me. Loving Jesus, extend your hand of help. Amen.

Your Turn: Reflect on how God has helped you in the past. Has he pulled you out of a pit?

In the Lowest Pit

30 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Psalm 88, Psalms

≈ 8 Comments

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Reading:                                       Psalm 88

A song. A psalm of the Sons of Korah. For the director of music. According to mahalath leannoth.  A maskil of Heman the Ezrahite.

LORD, you are the God who saves me;
day and night I cry out to you.
May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.

I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.

 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength.
I am set apart with the dead, like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more, who are cut off from your care.

You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths.
Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape; my eyes are dim with grief (NIV).

Reflection

There are 150 psalms in the Book of Psalms and one of the most remarkable things about them is their emotional span. They range from giddy heights of joy and praise to great depths of depression and sorrow. The full array of human emotion and experience is on display. Whatever state you find yourself in, there’s a psalm for that—a psalm for every situation and human need. If you are in desperate straits, there’s a psalm for that. If you are soaring in the presence of God, there’s a psalm for that too. They reflect our need for God and our desire to connect with Him in all of life’s experiences.

IMG_20160823_193733

As darkness falls — Petrie Island Park — photo by David Kitz

Psalm 88 is a cry for help from the deepest pit of human need. Hear the psalmist’s cry of anguish: I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life draws near to death. I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am like one without strength. I am confined and cannot escape; my eyes are dim with grief.

For reasons that we are not told, the psalmist feels trapped in the worst of circumstances. At times I think we all have been there—feeling alone with no one to turn to. In such times, there is no one to turn to but the LORD. In our time of despair He does not reject us or turn us away. He is a God who comforts us, even as Paul, the apostle declares, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

If you are in the depths of depression or despair follow the example of Heman, the psalmist. Call out to God. He is listening. He reaches to the lowest pit.

Response: LORD God, I need your comfort. Hear my prayer and answer me. In this time of sorrow show me a sign of your favor. Amen.

Your Turn: Are you currently facing a time of trouble or sorrow? May I pray for you?

Lamenting over Sin

09 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by in Psalms

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Reading:                                     Psalm 38

A psalm of David. A petition.
(Verses 1-8)
LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your wrath.
Your arrows have pierced me,
and your hand has come down on me.
Because of your wrath there is no health in my body;
there is no soundness in my bones because of my sin.
My guilt has overwhelmed me
like a burden too heavy to bear.
My wounds fester and are loathsome
because of my sinful folly.
I am bowed down and brought very low;
all day long I go about mourning.
My back is filled with searing pain;
there is no health in my body.
I am feeble and utterly crushed;
I groan in anguish of heart. (NIV)

Reflection
Psalm 38 is a psalm of personal lamentation. The psalmist, David, laments the state of his personal and spiritual health. Notes of joy and triumph are absent from this psalm; instead we find David in a state of deep melancholy.

Sunrise 11-03-2014 David Kitz

Sunrise 11-03-2014 David Kitz

What is the cause of this melancholy—this depression verging on despair? David attributes his current ill health to sin. He has sinned and is bearing the consequences of his sin. His words of confession make this perfectly clear. Because of your wrath there is no health in my body; there is no soundness in my bones because of my sin. My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.

What a refreshingly different approach to one’s problems! Rather than blaming others or blaming God, David takes responsibility for his self-inflicted difficulties. How different from the pop-psychology of today! Rather than deal with the sin issue we are often advised to pop a pill, blame a parent, a colleague or society in general. Rather than take our problems to God the world encourages us to indulge ourselves with another bottle, another donut or another spouse. Meanwhile, our putrid load of sin piles ever higher.

David was on the right track when he confessed his sin to the LORD. He laments, “My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sinful folly.”

Thanks be to God! He can handle our sinful folly. He sent Jesus to die on the cross to wipe away our sins.

Response: LORD God, I thank you for Jesus. I am thankful that I can put my complete trust in you. You forgive me and cleanse me from all my sins. I am saved by your amazing grace not by my effort. Amen.

Your Turn: When was the last time you lamented over sin in your life?

From the Bottom of the Dry Well

08 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by in Psalm 31, Psalms

≈ 3 Comments

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Reading:                                     Psalm 31

(Verses 9-13)

Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress;     

my eyes grow weak with sorrow,     

my soul and body with grief.

My life is consumed by anguish     

and my years by groaning;

my strength fails because of my affliction,    

 and my bones grow weak. Because of all my enemies,     

I am the utter contempt of my neighbors and an object of dread to my closest friends—     

those who see me on the street flee from me.

I am forgotten as though I were dead;     

I have become like broken pottery.

 For I hear many whispering,     

“Terror on every side!” They conspire against me     

and plot to take my life. (NIV)

Reflection

How often do you find yourself crying out for mercy as David does at the start of this psalm portion? I confess daily I need God’s mercy. Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.

The desperate cry for help is a recurring theme throughout the psalms. While there is plenty of rejoicing and we find ample helpings of praise for the LORD throughout the Book of Psalms, we also find time after time David and the other writers of the psalms calling out for God for mercy. It is as though David has stumbled into a dry well and has no one to rescue him. Only God can help. Only God will listen.

Is that where you find yourself? In this psalm portion we can see that David is experiencing a deep sense of abandonment. He feels he is alone with none to help. He laments, “I am forgotten as though I were dead.”

Is that where you find yourself? But David’s sense of abandonment plums even greater depths. Not only does David feel the sting of rejection, he also feels totally worthless. In his despair he cries, “I have become like broken pottery.” It appears as though he has lost all sense of meaning and purpose to his life. He is abandoned, useless and worthless.

Is that where you find yourself? Then do as David did. Pour out your complaint to God. Call out to Him. He is listening. He cares and He answers. The LORD has not changed.

Response: Lord God, have mercy on me. Come to my aid. When I stumble and fall into the dry well of despair, please come to my rescue. Help me see Jesus peering down at me. Loving Jesus, extend your hand of help. Amen.

Your Turn: Reflect on how God has helped you in the past. Has he pulled you out of a pit?